I'd love to write about my past week etc (there's alot I could write here), but I'm feeling WAY too lazy.
So, we're going to go straight to the next lesson, which talks about recurring patterns. They're usually associated with behaviours exhibited by one or both of your parents.
If your parent(s) is a/ are a worrier(s), it wouldn't be a surprise if you were too.
It asks you to answer the following:
What is the pattern(s) I've experienced over and over again in my romantic relationships? Well, I've never been in a relationship. But I've experienced that tendency of chasing when I've liked a guy. I don't think I'd do that again, mind you, since I KNOW that feels so WRONG to me now. But I can imagine having this trouble with how vulnerable I allow myself to be. Perhaps being so vulnerable, but being governed by fear, so looking for validation in a partner. Yuck. I validate myself.
What specifically am I doing to create the results that I am getting? Hmm... again, I'm not sure. I've never been a relationship. Okay, think- stop being dismissive. I can imagine myself treating a man as a friend too early on. I have to be careful of that. Bceause I know I'm a counsellor by nature, and that won't help if I'm hoping to get to know a man as more than simply a "friend".
In what ways, if any, was this pattern(s) acted out by one or both of my parents? My mother is an overfunction-er, and she does too much so that other people will approve of her, so she'll feel validated. I learnt a long time ago that this is not the way to go.
Which of these patterns, if any, do I want to release from my life? I'd like to be able to do what I want to do without worrying too much about others' perceptions and opinions. To know that I am validated and approved of as I am.
What specifically would I have to give up in order to do this? The worry that people may judge me.
Okay, I'm not in a blogging mood for some reason, BUT, I'm happy that I actually blogged. So yay! =)
With all my love, and until the next time xxx
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