Sacred Wounds

So it's been yet another GREAT day.


To all the girls out there who want to feel amazing? Dress well, make an effort to look hot. Not that you're not hot already, but... make yourself look hotter than usual! Wear some cute jewellery. Or heels. Whatever makes you feel good. And blow yourself a kiss in the mirror before you leave the house.


I'm beign serious. Noone can love you, or take care of you, better than you do yourself. And I know I used to hear this constantly when I was younger, but it's very true.


A few days ago, a random stranger asked me to be his wife. I couldn't stop giggling!
Today, I was quite obviously checked out by quite a few guys, and get this: I made eye contact with a man through his car window when I was crossing the road. Loved the fact that he carried on looking at me using his rear view mirror ;)


Together with that, I had a fun lecture earlier this afternoon on Indians. Not my type of Indian, btw. Even though I wouldn't really class myself as Indian, though my grandparents are... Hmm. 


Anyway(!) This was on the Native Indians. For some reason, maybe because of the great sound effects (similar to those used in Indian dramas, just so you know...) with a lack of spoken word, together with all the fighting... it was pretty funny! The lecturer who led the session, from what I was told, was disappointed that not many students turned up to the first session, held on Monday morning. (... I was one of them... *sees a sea disapproving faces* Aww, c'mon- twas at 10 am!! *pouts* I love my sleep... zzzzz....
So yah, he was quite disappointed apparently. And when I was told that, I felt so bad for the poor man- he's one of the gentlest and sweetest lecturers we have! So I went and told him that the session had been very informative, and that I'd enjoyed it. It made him smile, and I think he was happy. I hope so, atleast :) For one thing, not many students turned upto this session either...


And nowwww... onto today's lesson!


This one talks of the wounds we develop in our early lives, and the stories we tell ourselves regarding that. It says that many of us even choose our partners based on how understanding they are of our wounds, and the knowledge that they would be willing to "dance around" it. "The truth is, it's never what happens to us that matters as much as what we do with what happens to us". 


Eckhart Tolle writes in his book, "If you are trapped in a nightmare you will probably be more strongly motivated to awaken than someone who is just caught in the ups and downs of an ordinary dream".


And I couldn't agree more. The intense difficulties we go through, the hardships... they teach you so much. Were it not for issues I've been through, I would not be as spiritually inclined as I am now. I wouldn't be able to connect with people so easily on an emotional level. 


It asks you to write a "woundology" from the perspective of your strength in being able to overcome adversity.


When I was younger, I was incredibly insecure. I felt I was ugly, and useless, and worthless. (Wow, that feels BAD to read). I had no sense of self; it was all linked to others in how much I gave to them. If I could be selfless, I was just perfect. If I could be constantly loving and happy, I was just... perfect. 


And then with time, I realised that there was something wrong with this. Why did I feel emotionally suffocated and heavy? Because I wasn't being true to myself. I wasn't expressing any negative feelings when I needed to. I masked insecurity, or showed it too easily, laughing about it as though it didn't matter to me, when it did.


So going for counselling was a big step, but it helped me so, so much. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be here! It led me to really get to grips with who I was, and realise that not only was it okay, but it was NECESSARY to express my needs and emotions in order to honour myself. Since then, I've gone from strength to strength. I'm still insecure in ways, but I'm secure in expressing my insecurity =) I'm constantly learning of new ways to take care of myself. I'm really, really happy. Most of the time.


And ofcourse, with this, it means that I'm very easily able to pick out those people who are so insecure, to the point of coming off as "fake". In that, I'm able to lead them to open up and help them. And I'm so appreciative of being able to do that.... I love me!


Okay... I'm slightly emotionally drained! And I now have to work out.


So, with all my love and until the next time xxx