"I am connected to everyone and everything"

Right now, I'm feeling a little sad. Restless, I think.

I've found blogging to be therapeutic, though, calming.. It has a way of making me happy :) So yay!

Today, I attended a function at mosque known as "Shab e Baraat", meaning "The night of Emancipation". It's said to be one of possible nights when our destinies are set for the coming year. It doesn't make a huge amount of sense to me in all honesty; surely we create our destinies at every moment? Everything that we do, and everything that happens... each little thing sets off a chain reaction causing other things to happen. Everything is connected, just as we all are. It's just so complex, that to say that "our destinies are written for the coming year on this night" is oversimplifying it by a huge amount. But I suppose that's the easy way of conveying the concept, atleast.

It's been an incredible year... Since this time last year, I've completely changed direction career and study-wise, and thrown myself into a new environment. After two years of Pharmacy, I've just completed the English A Level, and I'm so much happier. And so excited to go back to university life, and make new friends, mingle with more people from different backgrounds and walks of life! That's what I loved about university when I first started... I felt like I was learning so much about people... 

And I'm lucky that I've managed to keep in touch with some of those friends that I made in Pharmacy who truly are incredible people. They really are. Some of the things they've done for me... I just feel blessed to have such people in my life.

I've also worked at a fast food restaurant for almost a year, part time. Now, although this hasn't been the most amazing experience (there was a time, at the beginning, when I'd come home after every single shift, and I'd be upset about something or another, telling my housemate all about how crappy KFC were), I have learnt a lot from it.

One: That to say people are "good" or "bad" is far too simplistic. Rather... well, I guess people's environment and the people around them will influence them and bring out the best or worst of them, if not both, depending on the various situations they find themselves in

Two: How to refuse marriage proposals with a smile on my face (There's more to this, and some of the stories are *very* funny... I'll explain further at some point, promise!)

Three: Just how much stress I'm able to handle. I can handle a *lot* of pressure and stress without exploding, as I'm able to tap into how sad or helpless I'm feeling, and being able to recognise it. But there were times, twice I think, when I just started crying on the shopfloor, because I felt completely overwhelmed, and simply couldn't handle it!

All in all, it's taught me a lot about myself as well as people in general. People really aren't bad- it's what I've always said, and there really is always good that you can find in each person. The question is of how hard you may have to try to bring it out ;)

I've also managed to build a better relationship with my Mum, which is a relief... there was a time when we were practically always arguing, and found it difficult to be in the same room! There's still healing to be done on both sides, but... I'm sure it'll get there, with time *soft smile*

And now onto today's lesson, which covers "connected-ness", the idea that we are all connected, and depend on eachother for love. 

Rather than dependence on people, it appears as if we've transferred that onto machines and technology. Perhaps we're afraid of appearing too needy? 
I, atleast, have a tendency of not wanting to ask for help, rather, preferring to do things myself, although if a person offers to help, I'll happily accept. But is that me trying to block my neediness? Trying to protect myself from being disappointed or rejected? Hope and expectations are closely connected, afterall...

The exercise tells you to sit cross-legged, and focus on your breathing, and imagine a beautiful light expanding the energy in your heart. Next, to think of your neighbours, imagining vibrant energy connecting your heart to theirs and back again. With this, say "I am connected to everyone and everything".

Imagine yourself walking down the street, and seeing that your heart is connected to each person you meet, regardless of whether you know them or not. On seeing each person, repeat the above phrase.

Now, the same for your co-workers (I was thinking of an ex- Assistant Manager at KF-frigging-C who I didn't like...) as well as people you're estranged from. 

This exercise actually did help me in creating more compassion towards people who I didn't think I'd feel safe around if I were to see them again. Remembering that we're connected, and share the same essence helped in making me feel more secure, more... relaxed, when I imagined myself seeing them.

And I told you; I feel so much happier now in comparison to how I felt when I first started writing this post!

Until tomorrow, and with all my love xxx